Caeli Lucida
by queerelenagilbert
Summary: Andromeda Tonks felt she was a horrible person, because she didn't cry for her Dora. Or Remus. Or Ted. Or Teddy. Instead, she allowed Andie Black to shriek and cry and wail for Dora's murderer. For her Bella.


**The little girl knelt beside the river, sitting on the bank. She placed the paper boat, giving it a soft nudge, giggling under the night sky.**

* * *

><p>Andromeda Tonks felt she was a horrible person. Because she didn't cry when she got the owl in the wee of hours of the morning, suddenly declaring that she was now childless.<p>

She didn't even shed a tear and it's not like she was controlling herself. She felt a sharp prick deep inside her heart, but no closing up of her throat, no choking, no lump, no burning in her eyes. None whatsoever.

She didn't shed a single tear. She merely picked up the wailing infant in her arms, shushing him and apparated to the battleground to do Merlin-knows-what. The baby screamed louder, but she just quickly checked him over for splinching, and then went in. Minerva stood at the doors, her robes tattered, glass lens cracked and tight bun now a messy tie up. She was looking at her with pity, but Andromeda merely gave a small smile and moved in the direction which she was pointed to.

She saw the bodies, all lined up neatly, as if they were asleep, away from all the hurt and pain. She unconsciously looked for the shock of pink hair, then realized that in death her daughter probably looked like what she was really supposed to. She walked past the Weasleys who were all huddled around a body and she saw one of the twins lying dead (she didn't know which). She felt a pang of sympathy as she remembered how they'd been the life of her daughter's wedding. How much pain it must be for all of them to lose a sibling like that. She didn't want to imagine.

She kept walking, but felt a tug on her arm. She turned, then realized that Minerva had stopped beside two bodies. She looked down and realized that it was her daughter, and Remus. They looked nothing like themselves, wrapped up in each other's arms, her soft brown hair splayed across his chest, his face free of the worry and wrinkles he constantly had. So peaceful, just like she felt right now, eerily enough.

She knelt beside them and felt Minerva softly step away. She stroked her daughter's cheek and the infant squirmed again. She realized she was probably crushing him, as she knelt so close to the make shift podium and fell back a little.

"Sleep, my Dora," she whispered in her ear and nonchalantly tucked away a piece of hair which was falling on Remus' forehead. "Be happy, wherever you are." She kissed her forehead, as she'd done every night for so many years.

She shifted Teddy so that his head was on her shoulder and leaned forward, carefully, letting the baby weakly grab his mother's hair and leave a messy, open mouth kiss on his father's nose. Andromeda smiled and turned. She saw Molly watching her and they gave each other a tight, painful smile, empathizing the loss of their own children. Only, Molly's face was puffy and wet with tears which kept gushing, and Andromeda's was stoical and calm, collected.

_Cry, cry, cry_. Her mind screamed it, but she couldn't. She felt her throat vaguely dry, but no tears on the way. She wondered if she was in shock, then realized that if she _was _in shock she wouldn't be doing a self exam of the same.

"Who did this?" she softly whispered to nobody in particular, but a voice beside her answered. She jumped a little at it.

"Remus," said Hermione Granger, her own eyes puffy. "He was k-killed by Antonin Dolohov. He managed to escape." Andromeda's eyes widened a bit and she felt the tiniest stab of anger at that. The girl stammered, rushing on. "But the Ministry will issue warrants and have them arrested in no time."

Andromeda swallowed (still no lump) and nodded. She turned to her sleeping – dead – daughter.

"And Dora?"

The girl's eyes streamed with tears but she was unable to stammer her name. "I – I –" was all she could manage.

Harry came up behind her and placed his hand around her shoulder. He looked up, and she could see his own eyes stinging and trying to control tears. Such a bright green.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Tonks –"

"Andromeda," she automatically corrected.

"Andromeda. Hermione had a bit of a run in with the Death Eater in question and she's shaken up, still. But she's dead, now."

* * *

><p><strong>The boat struggled, pushing it's way through, coaxed by the girl. But, the tiny thing shook under the weight of the water as a huge wave crashed into it. The girl wailed, unable to see it.<strong>

* * *

><p>"She?" Andromeda's eyes widened, the dread finally entering her heart. It thumped painfully now, beating against her ribs, which now ached.<p>

_No, no, no._

"Yes."

He said nothing further, just pointed to the corridor down the hall. The baby squealed louder in her arms and she looked down, shocked that she'd forgotten him.

"Oh, Teddy –" she cooed, mindlessly. Her mind was stuck.

_No. No. No._

Molly Weasley looked up at the crying baby and wailed louder. Hermione held out her arms, offering to take the baby and Andromeda quickly handed it over and walked towards the said corridor like one of the Inferi.

She saw the separate mass of bodies, in dark, black robes. Death Eaters.

_No. No. No. No._

Harry came up behind her and pointed out the body. He probably thought it would give her pleasure to see her dead or something.

It didn't.

She saw the thick, dark hair, the pale face, the closed heavily lidded eyes. For a second she thought she was looking at a less alive reflection of herself. Then she cried out, as her heart punched a bruise inside her chest. The only alive people on the room looked up. She saw the bloodshot eyes, which she shared. They crumbled when they looked at her and her sister, her baby sister screamed in pain, crumbling forward. The two figures simultaneously moved forward. Lucius, his face pained and tired, took her in his arms. Draco, his face bloodied and scared placed his hand on her shoulder, avoiding looking at either of his aunts.

Andromeda stumbled forward, her feet heavy as lead and her mind scarily stuck. She knelt beside the dead body and unconsciously reached out. A vice like grip around her wrist stopped her and she looked at the murderous eyes of her sister.

"Don't you dare, y-you, blood traitor. What are you doing here? What do you care?" she spat. She wrenched her hand out of her grip and smoothed the rough, black curls around her elder sister's face.

* * *

><p>"<em>Cissy's hair is so pretty. It's not fair," Bella grumbled as they watched their little sister toddle around, her smooth, fair hair shining under the magically suspended chandelier. Little Sirius waved his tiny fists at them, his own tufts of hair smooth<em>. _Bella frowned at him._

"_Are you jealous of Baby Siri?" Andie laughed. Bella tugged at heir messy curls, wrinkling her sharp nose. Druella Black looked up from her paper, and rolled her eyes at her whining daughter._

"_Come here," Andie said, pulling herself up on the ottoman table, so that she was behind her sister who was flopped on the floor. She slowly started untangling the hair, smoothing out the rough, black curls._

* * *

><p>Her hot tears started falling from her eyes as her face crumbled up in grief. Her hand snaked down her neck and to the collar of her robes. She grabbed them roughly and nearly lifted the corpse off the surface as she shook it.<p>

"Why? Why?" she screamed in despair. Narcissa screamed at her, grabbing the back of her robes, trying to pull her away from the body.

"Stop it! Stop it, you, you…stop!" she cried out. Lucius blinked at them and Draco's jaw almost dropped at the way they were fighting, but neither made a move to stop them.

Andromeda roughly pushed away Narcissa who stumbled backwards into her son. He steadied her, but she just went back, trying to yank her away. Her voice broke and tears flowed freely.

"Stop!" she sobbed.

"Why?" Andromeda shrieked and everyone looked a bit taken aback as she threw herself over Bellatrix's corpse. "Why?"

Narcissa stood over her, pointing her finger at her, which shook more than her voice.

"Y-you leave now, Andromeda Tonks. I don't care if she killed your daughter, you won't hurt her," she spat callously, trying to pry Andromeda's fingers, which were now curling in the long black hair. Andromeda pushed her again, but Narcissa didn't let go and they both crashed to the floor. She pinned her to the floor as Narcissa gasped for air. The two men barged in the middle, Draco yanking her backwards as Lucius lifted Narcissa up.

"Now, look here -" he said but Narcissa's voice drowned him out.

"Leave us! Leave us, like you did! Leave!"

"NO! She was my sister before you!"

Narcissa broke away and pushed her again.

* * *

><p><em>Cissy pushed Andie to the floor, yanking back her favorite doll.<em>

_"Missy Priscilla, is mine! Mine! Mine!"_

_"No! Mine!"_

_Andie threw her to the wall, causing Cissy to cry out and yank her hair._

_Bella walked in, liftng them apart._

_"Stop, idiots!"_

* * *

><p>"See, Bella! See? I just hit Cissy! Where are you? Stop us!"<p>

"Stop it!" Narcissa shrieked, tears pouring from her eyes. She grabbed Andromeda and shook her. "She's not coming back! She's dead! Dead! Dead!"

She shook her head and pushed Cissy away. "No! No!"

"Yes, you idiot! Yes!"

_No. No. No. No._

"Bella," she moaned, burying her face in her elder sister's chest. Narcissa's already-shaky resolve broke down as she knelt beside them.

* * *

><p><em>Andie creaked open the door to Bella's room, where she saw her sister sleeping soundly, smiling in her sleep. She gulped, jumping at the faint tinkering down the hallway and quickly let herself inside, closing the door behind her. She moved over to the bed, where Bella lay. She prodded her shoulder.<em>

"_Bella. Bella wake up". Instead another head emerged from behind the sleeping figure. Andie would have screamed had she not recognized the mess of blonde hair._

"_Cissy," she hissed. "You scared me."_

_She cringed, but smiled a bit as well._

"_The stwom?" Cissy whispered, softly, her chubby cheeks, pale in the moonlight. Thunder cracked and they both jumped._

"_The storm," Andie nodded, when her heart started again. Cissy moved over and Andie climbed into the bed. Bella turned over in her sleep, her long hands engulfing her sister. Andie buried her head in her chest, her other arm around Cissy, who clung to her midsection. They fell sound asleep, comforted by their big sister. _

* * *

><p>Andromeda cried hoarsely into Bella's chest, half expecting her hand to come up and stroke her hair, her soft, mature voice to tease her a little. Instead she only felt Narcissa kneel beside her and heard their broken sobs heavy in the air. They felt like a serrated knife, sawing away on a not-yet-healed wound. Fresh wound. Fresh wound.<p>

"Andromeda, - what the –" came a voice and they all looked towards the door. Harry and Hermione stood by the door, gaping at what he saw. Teddy was waving his fists in the cradle of his arms.

Hermione, who seemed to realize what was happening, tugged Harry's arm but he didn't move. His eyes were giving an accusing look to Andromeda but she found that she didn't care much.

"Harry, come on –" Hermione whispered but he didn't budge.

Draco spoke up. "Potter, leave! This is personal. I don't think you know what that means."

"Malfoy, you –"

"Harry, he's right. Come on," Hermione whispered. Harry looked at her incredulously.

"Mione, she killed Tonks! What –"

"Harry!" Hermione admonished and he shut up, turned around and left. Hermione gave a small glance and hurried after him.

Andromeda turned to Bellatrix. This woman had killed her daughter. She'd brutally murdered her, and Sirius and so many others.

* * *

><p><strong>The boat, paper thin and creased, struggled. It prayed desperately to see the girl's face again, to breathe again. But it was drowning, drowning, drowning.<strong>

* * *

><p>"<em>Mummy, doesn't love us, Bella."<em>

"_No! Mummy has to. She's our Mummy."_

"_Shut up, Cissy. She doesn't. I swear she doesn't."_

"_Silly Andie. Silly Cissy. Who cares what Mummy thinks and what Papa thinks. I love you, no?"_

* * *

><p>"You said you loved me. You said you loved me!" she shrieked and Cissy wept beside her, finally, finally placing her arm around her.<p>

"Why, Bella? Why? You said you'd stay, why?" she cried out, in a strangled manner. She gasped for air, choking. Her heart was crushing into less than powder, mixing with the grief within her. She felt pain all over, inside her. Cissy fell over into her lap and Andie finally, finally clutched her closer.

"Bella, come back. I didn't mean it," she groaned into Cissy's hair, whose tears were soaking her shirt. She suddenly felt like a child again, holding her baby sister close, watching their sleeping Bella. But she would never wake up. Never, ever, ever.

* * *

><p>"<em>Leave, you miserable, worthless, girl!" she shouted. Cissy cowered in the side, watching her Bella shouting at Andie.<em>

"_Fine! You're supposed to be my sister –"_

"_Sister," Bella shrieked, tears of mirth falling from her eyes._

"_Yes, sister! But, I'm glad you don't think of me that way! Who wants you if you can't be happy for me! Mummy doesn't love me and obviously neither do you!"_

"_I love Andie Black. Not this creature, this Andromeda Tonks who's screaming at me! Andie is dead! Dead! You killed her!"_

"_Funny, I felt like you're the one who stabbed her in the back. Why? Why am I different? You don't hate Cissy for courting that Malfoy boy." Cissy was too terrified to let the flush color her cheeks._

"_He's not a filthy –"_

"_Shut up!" Andie screamed and they whipped their wands at the same time. Cissy threw herself between them._

"_Stop! Stop it!" she screamed. She beckoned Bella to lower her wand and turned to Andie._

"_Andie, please. Please leave him and come back."_

"_Not you, too, Cissy. I love him."_

_Cissy made a face. "He's a Mudblood. You'll find somebody better. Come back, please. Mummy and Papa will forgive you. Don't become like- like – Sirius." Bella made a hissing noise and Cissy flinched._

"_No! I'm his forever!"_

"_No! You were our sister first! How can you forget that?"_

"_You're the ones who've forgotten!" She turned to Bella and spat out, "I can't believe I prided myself on looking like you. I hate you! Get out of my life. I don't want to see you." She turned to leave and Cissy lunged for her, but Bella pulled her back._

"_Come away, now Cissy. We have to give our sister, the dead one, a proper funeral." They left to find the famous tapestry._

* * *

><p><strong>The girl saw it nowhere, in the dark, dead and gone. She sniffled and ran away. The boat struggled.<strong>

* * *

><p>"Come back, Bella. Come back. I didn't mean it," she sobbed into the corpse and hugged Cissy closer.<p>

"She used to talk about you, sometimes," Cissy whispered, hoarsely and Andie turned down to look at her. Her head was now resting in her lap and she stroked the blonde hair as she often had.

"At night, sometimes if it was stormy and I'd get into her bed, she'd move over and say '_Leave, place for Andie,' _and then she'd realize what she said and turn away. I swore she cried but –"

Andie hushed her and cried into her smooth, hair. She looked up at the sky, and tried to look in vain even though she knew she wouldn't spot it in the middle of summer.

"She loved winter," Andie whispered and Cissy nodded.

* * *

><p>"<em>Bella, watch out!" A huge splat of snow hit her in the back of her head and she fell forward. Andie giggled while Cissy ogled, her jaw fallen open. Bella turned around, looking furious. Cissy shut her mouth and gave Andie a you-are-dead look. Andie's laughter died and she put her hands up. "It's just a joke," she said, half heartedly.<em>

"_No, it's not. It's war," Bella screamed and threw a snowball at her. Andie ducked in time and it caught Cissy in the face. Their squeals of laughter filled the air._

* * *

><p>"You watch," Cissy whispered, "come winter and –"<p>

"We'll see her right up there, shining brightly," Andy said, pointing to the night sky. "Sitting right in the middle."

Time seemed to have stopped, no grains of sand falling through the dome, the air coagulated to a stop. It meant nothing. She had no elder sister now. None at all. It felt like a few hours later, but it was only a few minutes later that Cissy disappeared from her arms. Andie looked around frantically, too see that Lucius and Draco had pulled her away, her resisting.

"Leave her alone!"

"No! Let me go, I don't want to leave," Cissy screamed, crying and falling at Bella's feet.

Andie felt warm arms around her shoulder and turned to see Kingsley and Arthur Weasley behind her. They began pulling her away, but she shamelessly threw herself over her sister's body.

"No! No! I won't! I won't. Bella stop them. Bella come back! Bella!" she cried out, but they ushered her out and apparated her away, cruelly ripping her away from her, her family.

"No! No! Bella! Cissy ! BELLA!" she screamed in the air, but nobody heard her as they led her into the house and lay her on the couch. Everyone was crowding around her, trying to stop her hysteria but it bubbled inside her, trapped for so many years. It was like molten lava, acid, whatever. It burned her, seared her just like it had seared her name of the tapestry. No more family. None.

"BELLA!" she screamed and Molly Weasley hugged her closer and whispered to her.

"We need to make funeral arrangements, Andromeda. We –"

"Ask Cissy! Call Cissy, she'll know what she'd want. Call –"

Somebody cleared their throat and she stopped screaming and looked around at all the faces.

"What?" she asked, her thick voice, cracking.

"Er – we meant Dora and Remus. But –"

"Oh," she mumbled shrinking back into the couch, curling in on herself. Grief ripped through her heart, giving guilt an equal competition. She was ashamed to say she'd forgotten Dora. And Remus. And Teddy.

_Bella,Bella,Bella. Cissy,Cissy,Cissy. BellaCissyBellaCissy, _her mind said. And so did her heart. No battle, only conviction.

"Sleep, my Bella," she whispered to the night sky, unable to wait for winter and to see the bright constellation again.

* * *

><p>"<em>See that, Andie?"<em>

"_What? What is it?"_

"_That's me, up in the sky!"_

"_No, silly. You're here with us."_

"_Siri! She meant the star."_

"_Yep. That's Bellatrix, right up there."_

"_Wow. Am I there?"_

"_Sure, kiddo. You too, Andie. You're there too, Reg! We're all there together."_

"_Where am I?"_

"_Silly, Cissy. You're right here."_

"_Siri!"_

_Innocent giggled broke the air._

* * *

><p>Andromeda Tonks felt she was a horrible person. Because she didn't cry when she got the owl in the wee of hours of the morning, suddenly declaring that she was now childless.<p>

She didn't even shed a tear and it's not like she was controlling herself. She felt a small prick deep inside her heart, but no closing up of her throat, no choking, no lump, no burning in her eyes. None whatsoever.

Andromeda Tonks felt she was a horrible person, because she didn't cry for her Dora. Or Remus. Or Ted. Or Teddy.

Instead, she allowed Andie Black to shriek and cry and wail for Dora's murderer, drowning in a misery so deep that she was left gasping for breath. Drowning in the ocean of regret and longing, just so that she could break through the surface.

Not to breath and remember her daughter.

But to catch a glimpse of the bright star.

* * *

><p><strong>The little paper boat pushed itself upright, weak, wavering, leaking,dying. Yet drifting slowly under the dark sky, under the stars.<strong>

* * *

><p>"<em>Where? Where?"<em>

"_See, right there. Shining bright."_


End file.
